When I was 13/14 years old I had some health problems that came out of no where and no one really knew what was causing it. At that point I believed Jesus Christ was my Savior and could rescue me from sin, but I didn't understand how the Atonement reaches so far beyond personal sin. I got to a point where my health reached an all time low. I hated everything and was miserable. On top of being sick and not having enough energy to go throughout my day, I felt like everyone saw me a broken and that they were right.
During this time, I was reading in Alma chapter 7. As I came upon verses 11-13, I was overwhelmed. It talked about how Jesus Christ not only took upon himself the sins but also the infirmities of the world. Verse 13 explains virtually that he didn't have to because he could have understood how we all felt through the Holy Ghost. He chose to personally feel all of it in Gethsemane. That's when I knew. I knew He loved me. I knew I was not alone, I knew that He was not only my Savior but the Savior of ever person I have ever met or ever will meet. He knew (knows) what it felt like to feel broken, and He chose to personally feel that way so that I wasn't alone. I started to see people around me differently. I started to truly see them a children of God. Sons and daughters placed on this earth to learn and grow. I became more forgiving, more loving, and more understanding of weakness. This (kind of) led to my knowledge of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. Shortly after my new insight of the Atonement happened, I had another realization. I felt like genuinely loved pretty much everyone, I loved that people were different from me and really valued what they had to offer. But one day I it occurred to me, if this knowledge of Jesus Christ was so fundamental to me feeling joy and peace in my life, and if I really loved those people around me, then why was I not sharing it? That's when I decided to serve a mission. And if I was going to serve a mission I ought read the Book of Mormon again. I read it in 19 hours. And then I read the Bible (that took a little bit longer haha). I never had some slap in the face moment where I knew that these books were true, but I had a million moments of while I was studying where I knew without a doubt that I was doing what Heavenly Father wanted me too. I rely so much on that relationship, which is why I pray. I pray to know if what I'm doing is right. I pray to be forgiven. I pray to show thanks. I pray because He listens.
My personality type naturally relies on others for emotional support. Which also usually means that I get walked all over by others. For most of my life I have felt that was a weakness, because people disappoint. Just recently did I begin to understand how much of a strength it is to naturally trust, because without that part of me I would not have the relationship I have with our Eternal Father and His Only Begotten. They do not deceive or disappoint. They do not use people for their own gain. I am blessed everyday through my relationship with them. I pray to maintain that relationship. I pray to listen too.
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