An Open Letter To ERM's (And Well, Everyone Else)

Dear...Everyone,

      We all know that life doesn't always goes as planned and that doesn't change when you put on a name tag. I don't think I ever realized the amount of faith it takes to come home from a mission, early or otherwise. Going home is hard. Fear, grief, nostalgia, inadequacy, heartache, and so many other emotions are involved. Missionaries go home for all sorts of reasons, and the process is different for each individual. 
       In some cases, the final decision of a release is given to the missionary to make. At that point it is between the missionary and the Lord. It requires fervent prayer and the exact obedience that missionaries strive to master.This was my experience. I was blessed with an answer to my prayers, I knew I had to come home to get better. That didn't make my decision any easier. It doesn't make it easier now.
      What can you do when someone you know faces this, or really any other trial?  Love each other people! Love everyone! And then, never let your love for an individual be outweighed by your curiosity. Some of your questions will probably go unanswered, but it's worth it. Let them breathe. Don’t put pressure on them to return to their mission, or to stay home. Honestly the phrase "Welcome Home ______ (Elder or Sister)" accompanied with a warm smile or a hug really does go a long way.

(Throwback to Houston and my favorite sister missionaries of all time)

Dear ERMs,

        I want you to know you are loved! You are important. You are enough. People are silly and they will say silly things. But Taylor Swift is right, 'haters gonna hate' all you can really do is shake.

        People will tell you that you are home because someone needs you at home. I'm here to tell you that the someone is you. You will be told that you can still do missionary work (always true) and that there must someone in your personal life who is ready and it is your responsibility to 'save them' (not true). Though there may be individuals in your life who have come closer to Jesus Christ through your testimony, assuming that you came home to 'save them' negates the entire reason we are called missions. Many missionaries serve for different reasons, but aren't we all called for the same purpose? Twenty something year olds are not called by God to serve missions to 'save' the world, we are called to save ourselves. To be refined. To change. To learn. It is true, a lot of good comes through missionary work in other people's lives. But I think that young adults specifically are blessed with missions to teach them that they can do hard things. The point isn't to serve a mission, it is to become a missionary. A mission requires conversion. Not of anybody but the missionary. "Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God; And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!" You can be that soul! You should be that soul. How can you teach and testify that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is true, if you don't know yourself? If you are home because of transgressions, is all hope lost? No. Your potential is still unlimited. "His hand is outstretched still." Sometimes missionaries need to go home for medical reasons to get better. So get better! If you plan on going back out, do everything you can to get better! If you are not planning on returning, do the same! Your health is important, take care of you body. If you came home because of emotional struggles, take care of yourself, seriously. There are so many other reasons for returning home and if that's you and it is entirely out of your control don't look back.  (That video has helped me a lot) In any circumstance, don’t be hard on yourself.       

     Give yourself time to adjust back to reality. For the first week and a half I refused to even be in a room with the television. The next week, all I could watch was Frozen. Just be patient with yourself.
      Then there are all the questions. Most people mean well. Some really don't. When you encounter those that don't just take a deep breath and summon every ounce of patience. You can do this.

      "If we constantly focus only on the stones in our mortal path, we will almost surely miss the beautiful flower or cool stream provided by the loving Father who outlined our journey....We must never allow our burdens to obscure our blessings." (Jeffrey R. Holland) Try your best to stay positive. Attend the temple if you can. I know that it helps. 

       That being said, you are going to cry. A lot. Sometimes it will hit you out of nowhere.(At the doctor’s office, institute, the Kroger parking lot, it happens okay?) Keep tissues handy and know that coming home isn't and shouldn't be easy for anyone. That's okay. 

       Don't forget, "There are no true endings, only everlasting beginnings." (Dieter F. Uctdorf) You will always be a missionary.

you've got this.

love always,

Alexis